Since I promised some funny stuff, let's see what I can remember from recent months to stick in here.
**A few days ago a good friend of mine (and dispatcher for a neighboring department) had to send units to a person who locked herself INSIDE her car, with it running...on accident. And no, the person was neither a blonde or suicidal. (No offense to any blondes that may be reading this).
**Today, one of our ambulances was out at Big City ER with a patient, the backstory doesn't matter. They called in to let us know they'd be out for an extended amount of time. As they were returning to their truck to leave, they noticed the ambulance parked next to theirs was on fire. Being the good little crosstrained firefighters they are, they grabbed the gear off their truck and put out the other one. They simply called to see if we could contact the other company so they could contact their personnel assigned to that unit. Our guys had tried unsuccessfully to find them and wanted to make sure they knew what happened.
I couldn't help but laugh when they told us what happened. I wish I could've heard the company's rep. that answered the phone. My trainer said they seemed pretty out of it.
Who said you never get to fight fire from the box?
**A conversation between myself and a dispatcher while on break...
"One! Tubby, tubby, tubby...Two! Chubby, chubby, chubby."
"This is my rifle, there are many like it but this one is mine!"
"Hey corpral! Go tell mom bring my field knife."
"What would anybody want with a blind dog?"
*insert weird, conscerned dog noise here*
We went on for a minute or 2, then had to stop because our breaks were almost over.
**(One overheard late at night a couple years ago)
"Engine X to radio, Engine X is enroute to ABC hospital."
(Sounding extremely confused) "Engine X, you advised enroute to the hospital?"
"Rescue Z enroute to ABC hospital with Engine X personnel on board."
"See radio? I told ya."
**I once had a patient's family member threaten to file a complaint against me for being racist because I said "ya'll".
Thankfully my partner (who happened to be the same race as the potential complainant), told her that I wasn't racist, I was from Georgia.
I never received any complaint about it.
** Funny things can be heard on the radio when it's accidently keyed up. This is my all-time favorite. And yes, I was there in person when it happened, but no, it was not me. Oh, and this was on a talk-around channel. While recorded somewhere I'm sure, I don't believe it was monitored by radio at the time. If it was, they must've been laughing too hard to do anything about it.
"It's ok, no matter what happens. If I screw up on a fire, it's ok, I'm just a dumbass medic. If I screw up on a medical call, it's ok, I'm just a dumbass fireman."
Down for the night. Gardnerville, NV
2 hours ago